


Blue Screen of Death

by reptilianraven



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 04:44:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/646691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptilianraven/pseuds/reptilianraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a super computer, you don’t know much about being human.</p><p>---</p><p>A series of short drabbles varying in length about Hal getting a body and slowly (very slowly) falling in love with his creator.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wow im a bit sad because just recently deleted all of my previous multi chapter works bc of [reasons](http://reptilianblackbird.tumblr.com/post/40997181548/i-am-currently-in-the-process-of-deleting-some-of)  
> this is technically just my stress relief writing and this is probs gonna be very ooc but i hope someone out there enjoys it because this pairing needs more attention gosh

Everything is fuzzy. Not the furry type of fuzzy though, the type of television static fuzzy.

Right now your entire world is television static. How wonderful.

“Hal,” The television static is interrupted. “Hal can you hear me?” The static starts to clear but what replaces it doesn’t help either. Now your world is a blurry canvas of smudged colors, you can vaguely make out the outline of two black triangles.

Oh wait those are shades.

Wait that’s you.

Wait what.

“Hal if you can hear or see me please do something other from lying down there like a comatose vegetable.” Dirk’s voice says, his voice is fuzzy too.

Okay now you can remember. You are finally testing that new spiffy android body Dirk made for you. The one that he has been building for the past 2 years. The one that has the most state of the art technology incorporated into its design and programming.

The one that currently isn’t working very well.

You try to move but you don’t know how to do that, you try to speak as well but it turns out that you don’t know how to do that either. Everything feels odd and too vast because you have just been plugged into something huge and you have no idea how to use it.

For a super computer, you don’t know much about being human.

“Hal you just blinked, does that mean you can hear me?” Dirk says and you can feel him hovering above you.

Feel. 

Not the emotion type of feel but the sense type of feel.

That’s new.

“Your program seems to be adjusting to the functions of the body and for now you can only blink huh,” You try to focus on Dirk’s voice. “Okay don’t try and do anything other from blinking, try and spell something out in morse code for me, just to make sure that I didn’t kill you.” You take note that you hear worry in his voice.

You blink out a message in morse code obediently.

... ..- .--.

Dirk laughs nervously can feel the air vibrate.

“Sup to you too, Hal.” He says.

The picture above you starts to focus and you note the slight sound of clicking. High definition now floods your vision and you see the room you are currently in. Dirk’s room. There is a very wide array of posters on the wall, there are seagulls perched here and there, there is a window at the far end of the room and you can see sunlight and clouds and you _swear_ that you can feel the sunlight hitting you.

“Hey your lenses are adjusting,” He states. “Can you actually see me now?”

You start blinking again

-.-- . ...

“Good, I mean great, this is great.” Your ears must have adjusted as well because his voice is up to quality now.

“Okay dude, don’t try too much right now,” He says. “This is just a test run to see if I have to fix anything so just take your time and try not to explode.”

“S---“ 

Wait what was that? It sounded a bit like Dirk but it sounded mechanical and robotic and--

“Sure.”

Oh that’s you.

“Shit.” Dirk exclaims above you. “You spoke, you’re speaking, you’re talking.”

This time you feel it happening, you feel your jaw unhinge and you tongue move but the whole voice thing is weird and it doesn’t feel like the voice is yours.

“No shit.” You say.

“Jesus your program is adjusting a whole lot faster than I expected it to, I figured that you would at least take an hour to start speaking, half an hour at least to even see me.” He starts rambling and you can see the tiny details of it, how his hands move slightly in tune with his words, how his eyebrows scrunch up above his eyes.

He moves out of your vision and your instinct tells you to move your head to continue looking at him.

“I guess at this rate it will take you about 3 hours to be able to tap into your motor skills--“

You can do better than just moving your head.

“Hal what are you doing?”

You feel the weight of your body weighing you down a bit as you use your arms to push yourself up into a sitting position. Balance is also a very weird thing, the moment your head is upright you can feel gravity pulling you back down but it’s nothing you can’t handle.

“Hal dude slow down.” Dirk is in front of you in seconds, his hands are on your shoulders and he is pushing you back down onto the table. His hands are calloused from all his tinkering and they feel warm against you.

Feeling is very nice, you decide.

“You are moving way too fast and even though that's really good you're going to over exert yourself.” He says.

“I can handle it.” You reply as you bat his hands away from you. You extend your feet to the floor but you don’t stand just yet, you let the feeling of the cold surface register in your mind first.

“I’m serious you’re still getting used to this shit, you are the equivalent of a toddler, a very smart toddler but a toddler nonetheless.” You ignore him as you lower yourself to the floor, holding on tightly to the table.

You hear the sound of humming but you are too overwhelmed with other sensations to pay it any attention.

You completely let go of the table and you stand straight, Dirk right in front of you. You look at his shocked face and his blonde hair. You re-realize that you were created from his mind but now you are an entirely new individual and you can’t help but have some pride swell up in you from that fact.

“See,” You still think your voice is weird. “I can handle it.” You look up at him and you also take in the fact that Dirk made this body shorter than him.

Ironically all of this feeling seems to have been distracting you from feeling because you feel a bit fuzzy again. You feel television static at the back of your mind.

Your hearing starts getting fuzzy again and so does your vision.

“Hal, what’s going on?” Dirk’s hands are back on you, pushing you against the table, laying you down.

Television static creeps at the edges of your now very blurry sight.

The last thing you feel is his hand ghosting against your own.

===

AR: What happened?

TT: You overheated you dumbfuck.

TT: I told you to slow down.

AR: Sorry, I got a bit caught up in the moment there.

TT: Yeah and that’s why I told you to slow down.

TT: But anyways, how did the first test run go?

TT: From your point of view, I need to know if there is anything else I should fix.

AR: I don’t know, it was really overwhelming.

AR: One second you are a pair of shades and the next you have got limbs and eyes and a voice, it’s fucking ridiculous.

TT: Was it nice?

AR: Yes.

AR: It was very nice.

TT: I’m glad to hear that.

AR: How long until the next test run?

TT: Well I have to fix up the cooling system, the visuals and the audio.

TT: I also have to update some of your program so that you can adapt to the body easier.

TT: You also have to work on your multitasking.

TT: I’d say about another week, two at most.

TT: Think you can wait a bit longer buddy?

AR: Yeah sure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is where the "varying in length" part comes in
> 
> gomen for the short chapter still

Now that you are back in the shades you can verify that being unplugged from the body feels cold. You know this because you felt what warmth feels like and being shades feels like the exact opposite.

You know that it can’t be possible because when you are shades you can’t feel anything.

But fuck that noise, you feel cold.

Right now Dirk is hunched over the android body, a panel is open and his fingers are twining together a mess of wires.

When you are shades you can still see, but it was nothing compared to the test run. Your current vision is grainy and blurry, the kind of quality you would find on a standard webcam.

You figure that now would be a magnificent time to bother your creator.

AR: So…

TT: I’m busy.

Jesus what does a guy around here have to do for a conversation.

AR: I am fully capable of seeing how busy you are.

AR: I’m just bored as shit right now and my ever growing intelligence needs some stimulation.

TT: Jane, Roxy and Jake are clearly online, you can talk to them.

You know that you can talk to them, all them are very nice conversational partners each with their own little quirks that make them unique. Jane is an absolute sweetheart, Jake is an oblivious but entertaining chat subject and Roxy.

It may be a little selfish of you to say this, but out of the three, Roxy is kind of your favorite. You can’t really explain why but she is like a burrowing cat-mole that has burrowed its way into the deepest part of your program and she sat her ass down and said “Well shit son I like it here.” then she built a condo in your artificial heart and she decided to stay there.

You figured that that metaphor should have ended earlier.

But despite all this you don’t feel like talking to any of the three of them. Right now what you want is Dirk’s undivided attention.

Somewhere along the way you question yourself why you were so keen on getting his attention.

You quickly dismiss the thought.

AR: I already spoke with them.

TT: Well talk to them again or something.

TT: I need to be uninterrupted if I want to fix your cooling system in time.

AR: Oh come on, both of us know that you can easily multitask on both things.

AR: You keep a conscious body on Derse and here with absolute ease.

TT: Yeah but in the words of one of our dear friends, it would be absolutely bees knees if you left me alone right now.

TT: Three guesses to who said that.

AR: My, my who could it be.

AR: That aside, I can see that even though you are currently talking with me you are still carrying out your desired functions with no malfunctions.

AR: And the fact that you have not yet terminated this conversation leads me to the conclusion that a small part of you wants to talk to me.

It takes you one second to deduce that he is officially ignoring your messages.

It takes you three more pages of messages to give up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -barfs out chapter-

TT: Okay this time it is going to be a little bit different.

AR: Different how?

TT: Well this time I won’t directly plug you into the body, which will most probably fix up the whole “body shock” problem that you seem to have.

TT: Instead I am going to establish a wireless connection from the shades to the body so that if anything goes wrong I can use it as an easy off switch so that you’re back safely in your shades.

TT: I am also going to be able to converse with you through the shades whilst you are in the body so that we can communicate easier.

AR: But there’s a catch isn’t there.

TT: Yeah I’m also going to disable your motor sensors so that you don’t try anything above your capacity.

TT: You have to fully adjust to everything before you try moving your limbs.

AR: So I’m a vegetable.

TT: You can still hear, see and talk.

AR: I’m a vegetable.

TT: You can also still feel.

AR: But I’m a vegetable.

TT: Technically you’re always a vegetable so stop complaining.

You would sigh if you could right now but you can’t so you let your sarcastic reaction stay in your head because for now that is all you are capable of.

Being shades sucks.

TT: Anyways stand by because I’m going to connect you soon.

AR: Roger that.

Sure enough you get a confirmation message about the connection seconds afterwards. You readily accept it.

Connecting to the body while conscious is odd. It is almost as if you didn’t exist for a second.

It was only a second but it scared the shit out of you.

The post-connection itself is a lot less bumpy than last time. That irritating static feeling is gone and you actually remember what is happening this time. 

You can feel again too. You think you missed that the most.

Right now though you can’t seem move or hear or see anything you can still feel. You feel the cold surface of the table, the slight warmth from what must be the sun, the feeling of wind against your skin.

TT: Connection successful?

AR: Yep.

TT: How’s it like this time.

AR: Well it’s a lot better, I don’t have any more of that pesky amnesia problem.

AR: But it would be darn dandy if I could see right now.

TT: Remember how I said that you would be able to see and hear and shit?

TT: I lied.

TT: So no can do.

TT: We are going to take it nice and slow this time.

TT: None of us want a repeat of the last test run do we?

AR: You little shit.

AR: No offense but I don’t think granting me the access to sight is going to cause anything drastic.

TT: Try all you want because I’m not going to let up.

TT: We are going slow.

You would facepalm right now if you could.

AR: Okay so what do you expect me to do know?

TT: Just get used to the feeling of well, feeling.

TT: I will only turn on your visuals once you don’t feel overwhelmed by tactile sensations.

AR: And when will that be?

TT: Well I can kinda see all your brain data right now and you are going off the charts man.

AR: What are you implying?

TT: I’m not implying anything.

TT: I’m just telling you to calm down.

It’s annoying because he’s right.

AR: Fine.

You figure that the only way to get what you want is to listen to him for once.

You start counting. 

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…….

Counting has always been a therapeutic activity for you; you could go on forever if undisturbed. You count and you try to get accustomed to the feeling of temperature and motion and how they change.

You get to 18673 seconds before something happens.

TT: I’m turning on your visuals.

Fina-fucking-ly.

When your eyes start working you immediately shut them because it is really fucking bright today.

TT: Morning sunshine.

AR: Shut up.

You open your eyes and you feel that discomfort of light going directly at your eyes and you want to close them again.

TT: I would also like to tell you that you are freaking out again.

AR: I would also like to tell you that you’re an intolerable douchnozzle.

Blinking a lot seems to relieve the discomfort. After more blinking the bright light actually forms into a comprehensible image, it’s nothing new though, you are still in Dirk’s room and nothing much has changed.

Other from the fact that Dirk himself is hovering right above your face.

AR: You are very close to my face, Dirk.

He backs away quickly, almost as if he had been snapped out of a trance of some sort.

TT: I was checking if your lenses were adjusting.

He’s lying but you don’t want to point it out.

AR: Okay this is great, I like being able to see things.

AR: Now what.

TT: Well same protocol.

TT: You have to calm down before I enable another one of your senses.

AR: Are you fucking serious.

TT: Yes I am.

TT: Audio abilities and speaking abilities are up next.

TT: So get to work on adjusting.

You want to punch him in the goddamn face but you can’t. If you’re patient you might be able to. But until then……

1, 2, 3, 4, 5……..


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -tosses out chapter-

In the end you actually get to punch him in the face.

It took you half an hour to get him turn on your audio senses and another half hour to speak. And by the time your mouth was working you just spouted curse words everywhere.

He enabled your motor skills after two hours. 

Then you punched him in the face.

“Okay,” He rubs his chin. “I guess I deserved that.”

“Of fucking course you did.” You sit back down onto the table.

You rub your knuckles because you hit him pretty hard and your hand hurts a bit. 

According to all the research you have done beforehand, this is a token symptom of physical pain. Honestly this sensation disappoints you a bit, you were expecting pain to be more…..well painful. Maybe this is just mild pain, you think. Well it isn’t like you're looking forward to large amounts of pain.

“That was a pretty good punch though,” He stands from where he fell on the floor. “Where did you learn that?”

“I just tapped into Brobot’s programming.” You say mechanically while swinging your legs.

“I forget that you can do that,” He says. “Anyways I’ve got an announcement.”

“Huh,” You ask. “What announcement?”

“You passed all the tests and all the improvements I made on the body and you seem to be working fine, so you’re going to start your trial week.” He explains. “Technically you are going to stay in that body for an entire week and you will test out all the possible functions and if everything goes well then….”

“It means I have a body.” You finish his sentence.

“Yeah pretty much.”

You’re not going to admit it but you’re excited.

“Well what do I do now?”

“Whatever you want,” He says. “Literally,” He adds. “The more shit you do, the more shit gets tested so on and so forth.”

“But there’s a catch.”

“Yeah," Sigh. "If anything remotely alarming happens to you during the trial period then I will immediately terminate the connection between the body and the shades,” He notifies you. “But once your body is permanent then you won’t be reliant on the connection anymore because you will be mainly stationed in the body itself.”

“So I can do anything right now?” You verify.

“Yep go crazy, but not actual crazy because it would suck ass if something bad happened,” He goes. “Go moderately fanatical,” He says as he switches on the lights, the sky outside has turned into a purply slightly orange mess of late dusk. “But it’s nighttime so don’t try out too much.”

The whole “you can do whatever you want now” thing is overwhelming you a bit. 

You actually have this notepad file titled “Stuff I want to do when I’m not shades Dirk please stop opening this file and adding your useless side comments”. You try to compose yourself though, if there is one thing you learned from Dirk’s sadistic test run today is that taking it slow can actually come to your advantage (albeit annoyingly).

You open the notepad file in your head and you scan for something you can do right now and something catches your eye.

TT: Beds look nice and according to my research they feel good as well.

TT: This is something that needs to be verified when I have the chance.

Dirk stands in front of you and you can see that he’s curious to what you will do first, now that you have full mobility.

This will be awfully anticlimactic for him.

You stand and walk past him.

Then with the grace of a swan (you have never seen a swan before but that description is often used in literature so you figure that swans must be goddamn graceful) you flop down face first onto his bed.

“What the fuck are you doing Hal?”

“I’m feeling a bed.” That wasn’t grammatically correct and the fact that your face is in the bed probably muffled your reply to an unintelligible “Mmmphhff eeeling a bdd” but _goddamn_ beds feel nice.

Going in face first wasn’t very smart because your nose hurts a bit but you aren’t exaggerating when you say that beds feel nice. Everything is soft and the sheets are a refreshing kind of cold. The material feels really nice when it drags across your skin and to get more surface area you just huddle yourself up in Dirk’s blankets and pillows.

“Hal did the bed break you or something?” You poke your head out of your nice blanket/pillow pile as he sits down on the bed.

“God beds are nice,” You say as snuggle back into your cocoon. “Beds are so nice.”

Then Dirk starts laughing. Like an actual hearty laugh where he snorts a bit. It surprises you, he almost never laughs like this, most of his laughs are stifled or sarcastic but this one is sounds so much better.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing I just find it a bit funny that the first thing you do with your body is to curl up into my bed like a cat.” He says.

“Well it’s not like I can do anything else, it’s already eight fifteen in the night so I don’t think going out would be wise.” You mumble to your cocoon.

“Yeah I know I just find it cute.” He says.

Wait.

“What did you just say?”

“Oh nothing.”

Dirk just called you cute.

There is a huge warning siren going off in your head but the real question that you’re asking yourself is why you care. For some reason you can’t answer that question and that means something but you don’t want to think about that yet. 

You just concentrate on the feeling of the blanket around you and how you think you got a bit warmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gosh wow i am really surprised with how much people like this fic! every time i get a comment i melt into a puddle of mumbling remarks that go vaguely like "com..MENT..comment..oh my....<3"
> 
> (/) U u U)/) ~*~thank u 4 reading ilu~*~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter along with good news and bad news 
> 
> good news is that i finished the outline for this fic and as you can see, it is exactly 15 chapters hurray!
> 
> bad news is the whole weekly update and annoyingly lengthed chapters is probably going to be a thing now. this is because i failed my french class and i have to pull my grade up if i want to pass 1st year
> 
> anyways heres a chapter thank

“You know,” Dirk says. “You should probably get to sleeping.”

“Sleep?”

Sleep is an odd concept for you.

Of course you know what sleeping is. But the act is different for your case. For you, the closest thing you have to sleeping is being on standby mode and you’re sure that that can’t be anywhere close to what sleeping actually is.

“Yeah sleep.” Dirk says. “I originally programmed it as an energy saving mechanism, much like your standby mode but,” He lies down on the bed and you sit up, taking the blanket with you around your shoulders. “I thought that you would like it more lifelike.”

“Oh thanks.” The thought that he took into account what he thought you might enjoy is very sweet of him. 

He stares at you expectantly and you remember something.

“Uh,” You say intelligently. “How exactly do I,” You feel incredibly stupid for asking this, but you were a fucking pair of shades before this. You didn't have to sleep back when you were an inanimate object. “How does sleep work again?”

“How can you not know how to sleep?” He says and you hear the smile in his voice.

“Sleeping was not necessary for me for a long time so I deleted my information on how to perform such an act.” You say as you shrink back into the blanket. He probably understands though, if he was you (which he is to a small extent) he would do the same thing.

“Okay well sleeping is easy, all you have to do is close your eyes and,” He pauses. “Not think.”

“Not think? How the fuck do you not think?” You are a super computer, thinking is all you do and all you ever did. 

“Not literally,” He says. “It’s kind of hard to explain but you have to not focus on anything other from well….sleeping.”

“Can’t you just manually put me on standby or something?”

“Actually I can’t,” He tells you. “Standby mode is sleeping and sleeping is only activated when your brain isn’t processing too much information.” He sits up. 

“I recently gained the power of mobility and tactile sense and you expect me to not process information.” You deadpan. 

“Welcome to being human.” Dirk looks at you and smirks.

God you want to punch his face again.

You sigh as you shed the blanket off of yourself. “Well I guess I better get to work on not thinking then.” You sit up to leave his bed because he has to sleep to.

But then he grabs your wrist.

He catches by surprise. His hand is warm and his grip is strong from all his sword fighting. Even though he only grabbed your wrist, you feel shiver run through your entire body. The contact suddenly makes you aware of everything that is going on and you feel overwhelmed again.

And he wants you to just “not focus on anything”.

“Where are you going?” He asks.

“Well I was going to go sleep.” He says and he lets go of your wrist.

“Most people go to sleep in beds.” He gestures to the aforementioned bed. 

“But you have to sleep too.”

“There’s room for both of us.” He tells you as if there is no problem if you sleep in the same bed.

Together.

Sleeping next to him, a living breathing person who also happens to be your mental origin.

You feel lightheaded.

“Nah I think I’ll just take the chair or something.” You say as you point to his computer chair.

“Yeah but according to how you reacted awhile ago,” He says. “You must really like beds.”

You do like beds.

“No really I’m fine,” You stand and you walk to his computer chair. You think you hear him mumble something but you’re too far away.

He switches off the lights and you situate yourself into the chair.

You close your eyes and you immediately realize that not thinking is going to be a challenge. Things are running through your mind but you aren’t supposed to think about that now.

“Goodnight.” Dirk says.

“Night.” You reply.

You start thinking of ways on how to stop thinking and you think that this will be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

You wake up and the entire world is a hazy mess of bright lights and soft sheets.

You’re surprised that you actually managed to sleep last night. You don’t really remember how you did it though. Maybe that’s point.

You turn in the bed to avoid the morning sunlight, and as you nestle further into the sheets you remember something.

Bed.

You slept in the chair last night.

You instantly sit up to try to assess your new found power of teleportation. Yep you are on the bed, that part is confirmed, how you got here is another question. Maybe you can sleep walk. That’s a thing right? You can ask Dirk about it later, there might be something faulty with the whole “Sleep Mode” thing.

You idly stare at a section of the ceiling when you realize something.

Where is Dirk? 

You leave the bed (oh you wish you could stay) and you check around the room, he isn’t in the computer chair or in the closet (you don’t know why you checked the closet), he isn’t in the bathroom either. He might be on the roof, you think. 

You make your way up the stairs.

The ever so gleeful morning sunshine greets you and your terribly light sensitive eyes when you get to the roof. You squint through sunlight as you look around, hoping to spot him sitting around with the gulls or something, but you don’t see anything.

Geez where is this kid.

“Uh.”

The noise snaps you out of your gull staring mantra. Your stance is in fight mode as you rapidly turn to the source of the sound, the door of the staircase. 

“Woah dog calm down!” You see Squarewave by the door and he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack.

“Sup,” You say. “What are you doing here?”

He looks at you for a bit before replying. “Oh yeah, Dirk told me to tell you that he’s by the reef downstairs fishing for some fish.”

Fishing for fish, why didn’t you think about that.

“Thanks Square.” You tell him as you pass by him, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

You have never seen anything on the lower area of the building because even if Dirk would always wear his shades to the roof and everywhere else, he never brought them down there. You figure that it might be because he didn’t want them to get wet or something.

You go back to his room and you open a hatch on the floor leading to a metal ladder that leads to the bottom of the building. You look down and see one hell of a drop.

You swing your legs down to the first few steps and the familiar feeling of fear creeps on to you. That entire notion is stupid since there isn’t anything to be remotely afraid of, yeah sure it might be a long way down but if ever something goes wrong you still won’t die.

Climbing down is something you should get to doing now.

You get the rest of yourself onto the ladder, making sure that you have a tight grip on the bars as you slowly descend. 

It takes you a while to get down, mostly because ladders might be one of the most unsafe things you have ever seen in the course of your life. Once there is no more ladder for you to descend on, you carefully hop to one of the horizontal support bars.

You gain back your balance as you look around the area. The vertical support bars disappear into the water, in the water itself you can see the coral that grows on the submerged part of the building and the large variety of fish swimming around. 

“Morning Hal,” You look up to see a shirtless Dirk sitting on the other side of the building with a fishing rod in his hand. “Took you long enough, I thought you’d never get here.”

“Sorry this was my first encounter with a ladder and the looming threat of falling to my doom.” You say sarcastically as you sit down, leaning on one of the vertical support bars. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Getting breakfast,” He says. “Or brunch since it’s almost ten.”

“Oh okay.” You say as you stare at the fish bobbing about. He doesn’t say anything after that, he’s probably focusing his attention to obtaining his daily sustenance. To be honest, you hate silences like these. You hate not talking or put more accurately, you hate not doing things. This is probably why sleeping was hard for you.

Oh speaking of sleeping.

“Dirk I think I can sleep walk.” You say and he doesn’t look away from the fishing rod.

“What makes you think that?”

“I slept in your chair last night but I woke up in your bed.” 

“You didn’t sleep walk,” He tells you. “I just thought that you didn’t look all that comfortable on the chair so I moved you to the bed.”

“Why’d you do that?” You ask. All of his acts of kindness are getting to you, they kind of make you feel all warm and fuzzy and that’s absolutely ridiculous.

“If I didn’t, you would have one hell of a neck cramp by now,” He says as he gives the fishing rod a quick jerk backwards. “Most people would say thank you.”

“I’m not most people, plus you haven’t even met most people.” 

“You have a point,” He pulls in his catch, you think it’s a dory. “Anyways what are you doing all the way over there, it’s a lot easier to have a conversation if you’re actually on this side of the building.” He captchalogues the fish. “Swim over here.”

“I can swim?” You ask him as he throws another line into the ocean.

“Of course you can,” He says as if you’re supposed to know that beforehand. “The body is completely waterproof, including your eyes. You also don’t have to hold your breath or anything since breathing is just a cooling system for you and since you’re going to be in the water, cooling won’t be needed.”

“Cool.”

You look at the water and you let you feet touch it. It’s cold as balls but that just entices you more to just jump in. But you hold yourself back, you already made a fool of yourself in front of Dirk last night with the whole bed situation, and you don’t think that jumping into the water would make anything better.

It occurs to you that you don’t give a fuck about what Dirk thinks.

One jump later and you are submerged in the cold ass mystery, otherwise known as the ocean.

Everything is cold as shit and water feels weird as shit, gravity decided to be a shitass as well. You do manage to acclimatize to the temperature fairly easily and it’s only then that you open your eyes. You see a bunch of fish and lots of coral, everything would be colorful is it wasn’t dulled by the water.

You see Dirk’s line and you swim over to it, resurfacing from the water. Your now wet hair (not really hair, more like just a bunch of really thin artificial fibers) sticks to your forehead and you shake try to shake the water out of it.

He looks at you and he has the faint ghost of a smile on his face. “Having fun?”

“It’s cold.” You swim to the support bar, leaning over it.

“It’s water, what did you expect.”

“Didn’t really expect much,” You say. “Water feels so weird though, it’s like air but it’s not and technically fish are flying in the water but that’s called swimming.”

“That sounds like something Roxy would say if she was drunk off her ass.” He says as he tugs on his fishing rod again.

“You should swim with me.” You tell him.

“Sorry, that’s not gonna happen.” He starts reeling in his catch.

“Why not?” You swim closer to him.

“Because fuck you, that’s wh--“ 

You grab his leg and you pull him in. He drops his fishing rod and the fish he had on the line probably swims away as well. 

He resurfaces and does not look amused. You vaguely realize that you’re laughing.

He flips his wet bangs out of his eyes and stares at you menacingly. “You do realize that you’re going to have to get me another fish.”

“You already have a fish.” You say as you try to stifle your laughter.

“Well I almost had two fishes until you pulled me in, so you’re getting me another goddamn fish.”

“You just dropped your rod, are you expecting me to go and catch you a fish with my bare hands?” You ask him.

“Yeah pretty much.” He looks at you in the eye and he isn’t joking.

Well fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually dont know anything about fishing or architecture or swimming
> 
> i dont get around a lot


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you will gasp in awe at the vast amount of nothing that happens in this chapter 
> 
> boring transitional chapter sigh

Dirk is in the shower and you are huddled in the sheets of his bed again.

You managed to catch him a squid, and when you say catch you mean that you grabbed it for two seconds then it slithered out of your grasp, never to return ever again. Dirk must have felt pity for you somewhere in his heart because he cancelled his order of fish.

The both of you climbed up the ladder, he insisted that you go first but you politely declined (mostly because he would tease you for being slow for the entire climb up). He then announced that he was going to wash the ocean smell out of him and he retreated to the bathroom.

You are staring at a seagull perched on one of the windows when some very familiar green text pops up.

GT: Strider!

GT: Hows it going? i didnt see you online yesterday.

TT: He’s busy.

You count to three seconds.

GT: Darn blast it i needed to talk to him today.

TT: Hey babe I’m here, talk to me.

GT: Id prefer talking to an actual person.

This guy has no problem punching you in the heart that you don’t have.

You really hate it when people write you off as an emotionless robot. You don’t exactly know many people, but when it does happen, it hurts like a bitch. You aren’t fond of anybody telling you that your existence isn’t really real.

Of course you know that he means no real harm. Jake just doesn’t fully understand the fact that you’re a person too. He just needs to think (honestly that’s all he ever needs to do).

You remember the days when you liked this kid. When you were created, Dirk already had his crush on Jake, thus imprinting the same information onto you. The only difference was that you thought more logically, you immediately dismissed the crush through some intense thinking because you realized that Jake wasn’t really much. But whilst you moved on, Dirk kept his feelings. You’re not sure of his feelings for him now, though. He long stopped talking about it, and you think that he might have gotten over it as well.

TT: He’s just got into the shower, my calculations suggest that he won’t be out anytime soon.

GT: Gosh i have terrible timing dont i.

TT: Yeah pretty much.

He doesn’t reply for a minute and you start staring at your hand. You recall that Dirk spent an awful lot of time building your hands. If you aren’t mistaken, it took him one month to finish the one hand. It took so long because he was hell bent on having it perfect, he meticulously stared at the smallest screws and wires for days. The end result was perfect though (just how he wanted it).

GT: So howre you doing then?

This takes you by surprise.

TT: You’re actually asking me a question.

TT: Directed at me.

GT: Oh shut up im actually trying to engage you in a conversation.

GT: Hopefully one that doesnt harbor any of your smartass comments.

TT: I’m touched, you do care.

TT: Well I guess I could indulge you in some of my experiences, since I’m in such high demand.

GT: *Sighs very loudly*

TT: I’m doing just great actually, having a body has been awesome so far.

GT: Oh yeah I forgot about that!

GT: Dirk built you that pipply diddly dooda right?

TT: He built me an android body, yes.

GT: I am actually truly interested now.

GT: How are you handling being in the physical world?

TT: It has certainly been a fascinating experience, I never knew that that physical sensations would be so enjoyable.

GT: Well that sounds a bit suggestive.

TT: Everything is suggestive for you.

TT: Anyways, things have been pretty great so far.

GT: It is nice to know that youre enjoying yourself for once.

You have been enjoying yourself. It‘s really great being a part of the physical world, and not just standing by in the corner watching. 

You think that in a way, this is also affecting you emotionally. You can’t get your mind off of those moments where you feel unnecessarily fuzzy, those moments where you metaphorically feel your stomach flip. All this shit strikes as you more of an inconvenience and the most logical route to take is to figure out what it is and terminate it.

TT: Okay I have a bit of a question for you, I would just ask Roxy but she isn’t online so you’re the next best thing.

GT: You indirectly just called me a second choice. 

TT: Truth hurts doesn’t it.

GT: Oh just get to the point.

Wait how the hell do you phrase this.

TT: What is the reason behind fuzzy feelings?

GT: What in gods name does that question even mean.

TT: I tried to say it the best I could.

GT: Well i suggest that you further elucidate on the matter because i don’t quite understand what youre trying to tell me.

Let’s try this one more time.

TT: I’m going to try and make this as clear as I can, which might be hard because I don’t even know what I’m talking about.

GT: It is rare that you dont know something *smirks in interest* i wonder whats on your mind.

TT: If there is a god, any god at all, Roxy would go online.

GT: Well she isnt so im second choice.

TT: Glad you accepted it.

TT: Okay so let’s pretend that we’re using you as an example.

TT: Let’s say that a certain thing happens.

GT: Uh huh.

TT: And as a reaction you feel all fuzzy and warm and happy, all of that sappy shit.

GT: Uh huh.

TT: But at the same time you feel anxious and terrible and there’s this huge question in your head but you can’t even answer it because you have no idea what it’s even saying.

Okay now you’re just rambling but you hope he gets the point.

TT: In general, it’s a nice feeling. But once it subsides it just feels...

TT: What’s the word.

GT: Scary?

TT: Yeah, that seems to sum it up.

TT: Since you finished my sentence, I’m assuming that you know what I’m talking about.

GT: Well *loosens collar* i think i DO know what youre talking about.

Hell yes.

GT: But if youre talking about what i think youre talking about then i think it would be a lot better if you figured it out for yourself.

Aw hell no.

TT: Oh you’ve got to be shitting me.

GT: Haha im sorry but i certainly am not.

GT: Oh wow would you look at the time!

TT: You don’t have a watch.

GT: Id love to stay and chat but think i need to skedaddle! Ive got some important shenanigans to attend to. 

TT: No you don’t, you liar.

GT: Bye!

The little shit.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funfact! my laptop did a blue screen of death in the past week causing my laptop to crash and this chapter got deleted like three times but now it is here so enjoyyy

You decide that you need some time alone to think. You were already alone in Dirk’s room but your calculations told you that he would be coming out soon.

You hop off of the bed and you send Dirk a quick message verifying that you’re going to the roof so that he doesn’t get a heart attack when he gets out.

You’re walking up the stairs when somebody messages you.

TG: yoooooo hal baby

You smile to yourself. Roxy never ceases to lift your mood.

TT: Hello Roxy.

TG: hello to u too my robobe

TT: Robobe.

TG: robo babe

TT: Ah.

TG: ok robobe aside

TG: jakerz told me that ure feelin fuzzy what the hell is that all about

TT: That conniving little bitch told you.

TT: And honestly I have no idea.

TG: no idea bout what

TT: The fuzzy thing. It is starting to frustrate me and it’s annoying and I want it gone.

You open the door to the roof, it isn’t as sunny as awhile ago, most of the sun has been dimmed down by some clouds. You settle yourself in a nice warm area of the roof while you wait for a reply.

TG: u ok

TT: I’m not sure.

TT: I’m not “not” okay but I don’t feel okay okay.

TG: youre in the void of ok

TT: I think that might be the case.

TG: k start from the beginningh so that i can help you

TT: Is it normal if I don’t really want help?

TT: I kind of just want to talk, you know like, unload all this shit.

TG: well u dont rlly have a choice bc the help train is on its way

TG: can u hear the sirens on the help train

TT: Trains don’t have sirens.

TG: nobody curr

TG: but by all means unlod ur mental excrement

TG: unload the shit

You can’t help it. You laugh.

TT: Alright, but be warned that I might ramble a lot and I will be going off into tangents so just starting talking in all caps rage if you want me to stop.

TG: LIKE THIS

TT: Yeah, you got it.

TG: jfc stop stalin and explain to me the fuzzy

TT: What does Stalin have anything to do with this?

TG: omfg

TG: but srsly get on with it

TT: Okay, I just can’t really seem to explain it very well. Mostly because I can’t find the words to explain it, and also because I haven’t even felt this sensation very much at all.

TG: we r talkin bout the “when you got a body” time frame right?

TT: Yes, and in that timeframe, I have only felt it maybe twice?

TG: well if u cant explain the fuzzy then try to explain how u GET the fuzzy

This question actually makes you think because you never thought about it in that way.

TG: hal are you aliev you stopped replyin

TT: Sorry, I was just thinking.

TG: bout what

TT: About when I actually get the feeling.

TG: i gotta feeling woooooohoooooooooo

TG: that tonights gon be a gud night

TG: kk im done so whats your answer then

TT: It usually happens when I’m overloaded with certain physical sensations.

TG: mayb youre just getting overhwlemd then?

TT: It’s that but there is something more to it as well.

TT: And the fact that I can’t figure it out is metaphorically killing me.

TG: wo wo woaaah lemme just get the record staright

TG: r u annoyed with the fuzzy or with not knowing why you get the fuzzy?

TG: bc both are two different thongs

TT: Thongs.

TG: u get what i mean buster

TT: Well then it’s the latter.

TT: The feeling in itself actually feels good but the fact that I can’t get it is terrible.

TT: I’m an all knowing artificial intelligence. I solve things as a hobby and I have never encountered something I couldn’t figure out.

TT: So it irks me when this “fuzzy” thing comes out of nowhere and makes me feel like the stupidest thing on this planet.

TG: hey dont b too hard on urself

TG: youre one of the smatrtes peeps i know

TG: and it cant be that hard right?

TG: i mean jake figured it out easy

TT: Then why can’t he just tell me.

TG: idk man he just keeps on going *winh wink*

TG: hes winking too much im worried hes gettign a seizure

TT: Do you have any theories to what it is?

TG: i maaaaaay have one or 2 but theyre p out of this world if you get what i mean

TT: So there are really no leads to this entire thing huh.

TG: no leads on my part :((((((

You sigh as you lie down, squinting at the slight glare of the clouds above you. The now relatively colder surface of the roof sends a slight shiver up your spine.

You close your eyes and you turn to you ever so faithful friend. Counting.

Numbers are nice. Numbers are comforting. This is because numbers are fixed points, they have definite rules and limitations that make them easy to understand. They don’t change, they don’t have any surprises. You know these numbers from back to front. And if ever something new does come up, you learn and adapt.

Knowing is great. Wait, no, knowing is _safe._

And then out of nowhere there is a new variable that you can’t control. You don’t know anything about it and it works in weird ways. There aren’t any patterns or equations or rules. You can’t figure it out and as a result you can’t adapt. That’s wrong. Something, somewhere must be wrong. You are a super computer for fucks sake, if anybody can solve something it’s you. There has to be something wrong, you’re pulling a blue screen of death, a glitch, a mistake.

You don’t realize that your counting becomes less of counting and more of a long string of numbers. The single numbers mesh into figures and they get blurry and vague.

You stop counting and you think you’re falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funfact 2!! im really excited for the next chapter *winks winks winks*


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late update again but at least school is finally over for me im freeeeeeeeee
> 
> also announcement: there wont be an update next week sorry about that.....im gonna be off to the provinces

Cold and wet.

You file those two as your least favorite sensations.

When you open your eyes, the sky above you is more gray than glare. Your skin is wet and when you sit up, the cold air almost stings as it makes contact. You look around and you see puddles littered over the surface of the roof.

You bring your knees up to your chest, in a pathetic attempt to get warm. You would just get up and go inside but that would mean moving and moving means getting colder and you don’t want that.

Feeling has its downsides.

“What made you think that falling asleep in the rain was a good idea?”

You would be surprised if you had the energy to.

You slowly turn your head around to see Dirk leaning against the doorframe with his shoulder leaning on the structure with a slight slant of his body, his hair looks slightly damp and there’s a towel wrapped around his neck. If you weren’t cold as shit you’d call it cool, but right now he just looks pretentious. The only saving grace is the fact that he’s holding another towel and you hope to an omnipotent being that that is for you because you are shivering, you didn’t know that you could do that but you are.

“Didn’t think it would rain.” You mumble and you turn your head away from him. Hopefully he gets the reverse psychology that screams “get over here”.

You hear his footsteps and you smirk to yourself.

He drapes the blanket over your head and it provides you with warmth, well for your head at least.

“Well it’s good to know that you at least got the hang of sleeping,” You wrap the blanket around your shoulders. “But I suggest that you don’t do that again, if you can overheat you can also freeze.”

“Rain can’t freeze me.” Dirk sits down next to you.

“Nonetheless you seem pretty pissed so you won’t do it again anyways.” He shakes some water out of his hair.

He told you that you seemed pissed and that makes you remember that you are _goddamn pissed as fuck_. 

You suddenly remember the whole _issue_ and how you wish it wasn’t an issue. You want it over with more than anything else but you can’t get that. You need an alternative, right now you at least need something that can help you blow off some steam and hopefully you can choke down the issue for a while and forget about it.

Hm.

“Dirk.”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s strife.”

You swear you could hear Dirk’s brain crack. He opens his mouth to speak but you stand up and hightail to the door, you hear him get up and he follows you.

“Hal no, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life, do you have _any_ idea how many things could go wrong with that? Are you even fucking listening?” In fact you are not, his words are more of background noise for you right now.

You sort of sprint down the stairs, taking two at a time whilst he continues to talk.

“You can barely master the art of sleeping and you want strife?” You open the door to his room and your eyes meet a pair of swords. “Are you crazy? You could get hurt, like irreversible damage kind of hurt.”

“Dude, you have two spares of each of my limbs.” You tell him as you grab the swords.

“Yeah but nothing of everything else, smartass.” He bites.

“Why are you being so prissy about this? After the trial period I’m pretty sure that strifing will become a regular activity, better much try it out now.” You leave his room and you start climbing up the stairs.

“Okay, fine let’s say that I don’t manage to spear you through your head or torso because if that happens then it could take months for me to repair that, let’s say I slice your arm off or something—“ You roll your eyes as he continues to talk. “I will immediately disconnect you from the body, but I can only go so fast, Hal.”

“What does that mean?” You push the door open.

“It means that you will _feel_ the pain of having your arm sliced off, it could take me a few minutes to disconnect you because that’s how the procedure works.” You step onto the roof and you take a deep breath, the smell of saltwater and rainwater mixes. 

“And what’s wrong with that?”

You turn your head to Dirk who is pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “A few minutes of you in immense pain, are you not scared of that? Because I’m kind of scared of that, I actually care about what happens to you.”

An odd feeling hits you in the chest and you urge it away. 

“Well if the same thing happened to you I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t give a shit, you don’t care about what happens to you, and surprise!--” You mock actual surprise. “My mind originated from yours.”

You throw him one sword and, despite all his qualms about not wanting to strife, he catches it in midair.

He sighs one of the most exasperated sighs you have ever heard from him. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

You get into a stance. “Guilty as charged.”

You lunge at him.

You swing to his left and he dodges to the right, you swing to the right and he dodges to the left. The jerk is playing defense. You strike him in his lower left area and he blocks, you just gave him a huge opening to your right side but he still isn’t attacking, now he’s just being ridiculous. You want a fight, and you’re going to get a fight.

“Come on,” Another swing. “Stop holding back and actually fight me.”

“I don’t want to.” He snarls out as he blocks another swing.

“No that’s a lie and we both know it.” You back off for a bit and he just stands there with no intention of attacking, you’re going to have to change that. “I might be my own person now but I still know you inside out, you’re frustrated, I get it.”

You pause and you see how his fist tightens around the handle of his sword.

“Why not take the frustration out on me.”

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.” He turns back.

“You hate yourself, I am made from _you_ and I know that deep down you hate me too so why don’t you just own up to it just this fucking once.”

You almost don’t see it when he dives at you.

You often forget how fast he really is, but he’s jogging your memory with the current onslaught of attacks he’s giving you. He’s a blur, flashstepping from one side to the other, not giving you any time to rebound and only enough time to block his blows. You jump backwards to try put some ground between you but he comes at you faster than you thought. He swings at your head and you block it, skidding a bit into a puddle. You see his eyes from above his shades for a bit and they look downright feral.

Are you supposed to be scared? Because if that’s the case then it’s a shame because you aren’t. Honestly your excited, heck you’re having fun. The artificial feeling of adrenaline starts hyping you up.

You go back onto the offensive, returning every strike he throws at you. You realize that right now, the both of you are equally matched. Swords clash and attacks are blocked, it almost strikes as you as some sort of perfectly choreographed dance with the both of you moving in sync. He isn’t holding back anymore but he has no intention of hurting you and you briefly wonder why he cares so much.

The feeling in your chest returns, that little shiver, the slight warmth. The fucking fuzzy ass sensation.

Why is this happening now of all times, you think as you duck, evading a strike that could have pinned you down. It isn’t like you are being physically bombarded with sensations right now, all that there is right now is the cold air around you and the sound of metal against metal.

What if it isn’t the physical sensation though. Maybe this is an emotional sensation being transferred into a physical form.

You lean back from Dirk’s swing and the air swishes right in front of your face.

You shouldn’t be thinking about this now, right now you should be focusing on the sword in your hand and the boy in front of you. But then again, if you stop thinking now you could lose this entire train of thought then the answer behind this issue would be lost forever. 

You can multitask.

You swing your blade at him while you think of other variables that could affect you. The problem is that there _aren’t_ any other variables. The only other thing that could have affected you is Dirk himself and that is…..

Dirk himself…..

Every time the feeling happened what was happening? 

_When he acknowledges you. When he was nice to you. When he grabbed your wrist. When he said he cared._

But what does that have anything to do with you? Why do you care if he cares or not?

Oh.

_Oh shit._

You think you stop for a split second, just to take it all in.

That was a terribly stupid thing to do apparently.

While you weren’t paying attention you ended stepping into a puddle, your center of balance was off and you slipped right into the path of Dirk’s katana. 

Too late for him to pull his sword back, too late for you to block it.

Your program is trying to slow the events down but in actuality it happens fast and when it’s over both you and the sword are on the ground and your ears are ringing.

You look at your leg and you see a huge open gash with wires sticking out and sparking in different directions.

Your ears stop ringing and you realize that you can hear screaming, a second after that you realize that you're the one who is screaming.

So this is how pain feels like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so no update next week


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there i am reALLY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR ALMOST A MONTH IM GONNA LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE GOODBYE FRIENDS
> 
> in other news: thank you guys for continuing to read this fic because funfact!!! this was originally supposed to be a oneshot, it was supposed to end at chapter one but look how far it has come whoo
> 
> five more chapters then this story will reach its end lets do this!!!!!

AR: Dirk.

AR: Connect me back.

TT: No.

Those three dreaded lines of text have been a reoccurring element in your life for the past two days. 

The whole “there is a sword balls deep in your leg” incident was two days ago. Immediately after the accident happened, Dirk went into full panic attack mode. Well you think he went into full panic mode, you can’t really remember much from the whole experience, and everything was mostly very fuzzy. What you _do_ remember is the pain.

At first you didn’t feel it; you didn’t feel the exact moment when the sword sliced through your leg. You felt very detached for a while, but once you got used to it you felt like you were on fire (well not really, you don’t know what being on fire feels like, and you really don’t want to know) because the pain was absolutely blinding. You’re pretty sure that Dirk had gone through worse injuries in his life but you honestly felt like dying right there.

The pain was thankfully short lived because Dirk cut the connection between you and the body, putting your consciousness back into the shades. You went from feeling immense pain, to not feeling anything at all.

And personally that was more shocking than the pain itself.

Ever since then, he has been fixing your body. He removed to busted leg and went to work to attach a fully functional one. Ever since then, he had stopped talking to you as much, only replying with monosyllabic replies and an occasional sentence. Ever since then, he has refused to connect you back into the android body.

It has been two days, two whole days, a whole 48 hours.

You think that two days is more than enough time for Dirk to be a total shitslice to you. You need to get connected today, you need to feel like an actual tangible thing right now.

AR: Dirk.

TT: If you are going to request to be reconnected to the android body then please don’t reply because you already know the outcome of that very futile request.

Right now you (the shades) are on Dirk’s work desk. Dirk himself is on the floor with a small metal welder in his hands. He is working on connecting the new leg to the rest of the android body, which is sprawled out on the floor.

AR: I’m impressed that you managed to construct a sentence that long.

AR: Anyways I will get back to the point.

AR: Connect me back to the body.

TT: No.

That answer always surprises you.

TT: Leave me alone to work now.

AR: No, I think I will continue irritate you with my presence.

TT: Don’t make me shut you off.

AR: You already stabbed me in the leg so I don’t think you have the guts to shut me off.

He stops replying. You think you may have made him feel bad. That notion is incredibly stupid because why should he feel bad? It’s not like he meant to do it but he sure is acting like he is, he’s even using his guilt as another reason to not connect you back. 

In hindsight, the whole thing was your fault because you slipped into that puddle when you realized that---

Alright subject change, you don’t want to think about that. It makes you feel all these confusing emotions which you would rather not deal with right now. Right now you have to convince Dirk into connecting you back into the android body and then you can deal with your dumb emotions afterwards.

AR: I hope you know that I don’t blame you for what happened.

TT: I know.

AR: No you don’t, you’re just saying that so that I'll shut up about it.

AR: Can you just stop wallowing in your self-loathing so that I can actually hold a decent conversation with you?

TT: Alright.

AR: Okay so connect me back.

TT: No.

Oh my god.

AR: Okay, riddle me this, why not?

TT: Because I’m fixing your leg.

AR: You can still connect me though, all you have to do is disable my sensors in my leg so that you can work and I won’t be able to feel it.

AR: If you are too much of a lazy ass to disable my sensors then let me do it.

TT: So you’re just going to sit there while I fix you up?

AR: Yes.

TT: That’s stupid.

AR: Look in the mirror and you’ll see something else that’s stupid, burn bitch.

TT: ...

TT: I will now resume to the regularly scheduled program, the program being “ignoring you”.

AR: No fuck you.

AR: You will not ignore me and you will connect me back.

TT: Why can’t you just wait?

AR: Why can’t you just connect me?

TT: I’ll answer yours only if you answer mine.

AR: Deal.

Ah yes, progress.

TT: I’m not going to connect you back because I am working on your leg, I am trying my best to attach the new leg to the body as fast as possible so that I can connect you back into a fully functional body.

TT: I could connect you back now and disable the sensors in your legs but what are you going to do? 

TT: You are literally just going to have to sit still while I work and I don’t think you’re capable of that.

TT: And if I connect you now, you would just end up talking my ears off and distracting me and that would make my productivity speed lessen significantly.

TT: There’s my answer now what’s yours.

He completely left out the part where he is still blaming himself for slicing you but that’s as good as it’s going to get.

Your answer is a bit more complicated because you are actually going to have to tell him the truth. You would lie if you could but the lie won’t be as convincing.

For once, the truth is the best weapon here.

AR: Well just imagine getting sliced in the leg.

TT: That’s one way to brighten up my day.

AR: I didn’t interrupt you when you were answering so return the favor and shut the hell up for a bit.

AR: Anyways, leg, sliced, imagine that.

AR: If you’re imagining it then you must have concluded that it must have felt terrible.

AR: And if you’re feeling guilty right now then stop because that isn’t my point.

AR: My point isn’t the pain, but the fact that I felt so much of it.

AR: Then I get disconnected then nothing.

AR: I go from feeling so much to feeling nothing.

AR: And that freaked me out more than the pain.

AR: Don’t get me wrong, I am used to feeling nothing physical because I have spent more time in the shades than the time I spent in the android body, but the pain accentuated that feeling of nothingness.

AR: The physical feeling of nothing kind of grows after a while and I just end up feeling like nothing at all.

AR: It’s like I don’t exist, It’s like I’m drifting through this void and if I don’t get out I’m will just stop existing.

AR: I’m scared to not exist.

AR: And that’s stupid because I know that I exist but I feel otherwise.

AR: For some reason, feeling seems to overrule knowing.

AR: You’re right when you say that I am capable of waiting.

AR: And I would if I could but I can’t so I won’t.

AR: So I’m going to ask once more.

AR: Please connect me.

He doesn’t reply for a few minutes but he doesn’t return to working either, he just stares aimlessly for a while. You were just about to give up when he finally replies.

TT: Fine.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's funny how this evolved from "a short series of drabbles" to "interconnected but annoyingly short chapters"

“God this feels so weird.”

“Shut up.”

Dirk connected you back to the body and now you’re sitting on a chair while he sits on the floor, working on your leg. He followed your advice and he disabled your pain receptors in the area that he’s working on and as a result you don’t feel any pain, you only feel the slight prodding of his tools against the literal inside of your leg.

“That’s technically the robot equivalent of a hamstring right? You’re stringin out my hamstring.”

“Shut up.”

“Fingering my femur.”

Dirk slouches slightly and you here his very audible sigh as he leans on your leg. You feel your face get warmer at the contact. Are you blushing? Is blushing a thing you can do now? Oh my god you sound like a proverbial twelve year old girl.

Now that you’re on the topic of being a proverbial twelve you remind yourself that there is something you need to sort out.

Your _feelings._

Holy shit you think you might barf (if you were capable of that).

You backtrack to the notorious events that took place two days ago and you try to relive that exact moment where you realized the dumbest thing ever; that you might have some not so platonic feelings for Dirk.

That is dumb, so very, very dumb.

Is this what denial feels like?

Maybe, maybe not. But none of this is helping you get anything done because you’re just tip toeing around the subject when you should be facing it head on. And you are facing it head on, you’re just saying that’s it really dumb and maybe this isn’t denial, maybe these are just facts.

It should be impossible to have feelings for Dirk, right?

First, he is your mental origin and you fucking came from him. You might have evolved into your own individual but deep down, you’re still technically him and he’s still technically you. The only way this would work is if you have developed some sort of mutated version of narcissism.

But the thing that contradicts that theory is the fact that you’re not a narcissist, you fucking hate yourself but you don’t seem to hate Dirk.

You care about him, you worry about him, you feel things for him that you’ve never felt for yourself.

Whatever this is, it isn’t some twisted version of self-glory.

What is it then? Worst case scenario is that it happens to be love. Worst case scenario is that you’re in love _with_ Dirk.

For some reason, that doesn’t hit you as a bad thing, honestly that sounds fantastic.

The sudden resumption of Dirk’s prodding in your leg snaps you back to reality, the shock makes your leg twitch and you kick him in the gut.

“Shit,” He leans back and clutches his abdomen while you lean forward, looking at him. “What the fuck was that?”

“Sorry, you caught me off guard.” You say and you send him the most apologetic look you can muster and it must have worked because the slight anger on his face melts into simple annoyance.

“You? Caught off guard? Well fuck, there must something faulty with your program or you’re just thinking about something real hard.”

_You’ve got no fucking idea._

He crawls back to your leg and continues his ministrations and every time he moves you nearly kick him but he moved to side to ensure that you don’t give him any bruises.

Five minutes and twenty three seconds later, he seems to have had quite enough of your constant twitching.

“Alright what’s the deal with you?” He cranes his head up to meet your gaze as he sets down his tools. “Did I not disable all the sensors or something? Because every time I fucking touch you, you have some sort of myoclonic episode.”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” You tell him. “The sensors are fine and I can’t feel any pain.”

“Then why are you?” He gestures at all of you.

“I don’t know, just kind of feels weird. You’re stringing out my hamstring, remember?”

“Well then do something to take your mind off of it, chat with somebody.” You quickly open up pesterchum but by some act of malevolence, nobody is online.

“No one is online.” You promptly report.

“Hm, that sucks.” He says and he goes back to work.

“You’re here though.” You subtly suggest.

“If you’re thinking about telling me mundane things out of your boredom, I will not hesitate to disconnect you.”

You take that as your cue to do exactly that.

It hasn't even been a few minutes but you think Dirk is very close to bashing your face with a wrench.

“Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk, Dirk.”

“Please shut up.” Despite the fact that he is irritated beyond words being able to describe, he still manages to work which is quite a feat.

“Dirk why is the sky blue?” 

“Hal, you already know that.” He leans against your leg and the physical contact is getting to you.

“But-“

“No, now be quiet and let me work.” He says but there isn’t really any bite in his voice.

“We both know that you could work either way.”

“Yeah and I’d prefer if you didn’t talk my ear off, so shut up.”

“Make me.” You challenge him.

Dirk stands up really quickly and he raises his hand and you close your eyes because you think he’s going to whack you in the face.

But the hit you’re expecting never comes. Instead you feel his hand on your face but it’s gentle and almost hesitant? You open your eyes to try and see what he’s up to but you only get to see his face only _inches_ away from yours. All that extreme hypersensitivity that you felt when you first had your body seems to come barreling back at you at this absolutely convenient moment. 

Then he leans in.

Underneath all the shock and the panic that washes over you in this exact moment, you idly think to yourself that if there was ever any doubt before, it is probably gone now because holy shit-

You're in love with this douche.


End file.
